I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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