so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
