Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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