Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize