She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
