The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
