A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
