Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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