She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
only you would photoshop your dick
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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