I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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