I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
