theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
