i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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