Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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