You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
