I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
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