I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
