oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
