: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I got her a Nickelback box set.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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