omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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