he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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