Got a toothbrush?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
