I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
