forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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