i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
