his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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