I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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