why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
