he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We're too hungover to prance.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
