just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
