Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
