so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i was born a porn star she said
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I FOUND THE LEGS
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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