so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
