Me. At least after what I've been through.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
