I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
