just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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