PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
