Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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