I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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