I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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