he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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