The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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