please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
