Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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