i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
