I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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