I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
