Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
