My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
