We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize