did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
