Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
