Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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