Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
