the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
