Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
