I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
