dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
