I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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