So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm gonna fight the coyote
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
