you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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