you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
