Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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