yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
