note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
