Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
