it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
